The Good Life
with a Southern Drawl

To Give It A Chance Or Not Give It A Chance

By Amy Bailey — June 30, 2014

Introducing’s new dating column Dear Belle and Beau. You send in your dating confessions whether they are good, bad, or have us saying, ‘Oh my God!’ and Belle and Beau will give their Southernly advice. Our first dating story comes from a young woman who wants to know ‘when to give it chance?’

Dear Belle and Beau,
This guy started asking me out. I had just gotten out of a long term relationship and he was pretty persistent, so I said ‘yes’. We went out a few times and all he wanted to talk about was money and work. From his brand new BMW to his new loft, I heard all about the finances. He also had advice for any and everyone on their career. He was a ‘Class A Know-it-all’, who looking at his life no one should take advice from. On one date when he cornered one of my friends for 30 minutes giving them career advice, I just sat there mortified thinking, ‘Does he really think they want to hear him?’ Unsolicited and unfiltered advice constantly rolled off his tongue. His other favorite thing to do call people in his contacts and drop the line that he was on a date. The first time it happened I thought that was kind of weird, the second time I thought ‘OK this is just annoying.’ The worst though was when it came to kissing. I was just not into it and I kept thinking it would get better, but it didn’t and I found myself doing everything I could to avoid making lip contact. Even though most of these issues became apparent on the first date, my friends had me convinced and even I had convinced myself that I needed to ‘give it a chance.’ Why do so many people convince themselves that they will ‘grow to like someone?’
   Marie, 36 yr old, Mortgage Broker

Dear Marie,
First, there is no harm in giving it a chance and you cannot tell just by a first date. You did exactly what you were suppose to – you went on a few dates and decided this wasn’t for you. No one should keep something going for an extended time because like mamma says, ‘When you know, you know.’


Dear Marie,

My guess is you are just annoyed you even went out with someone like this, but if you didn’t go out with people you did not like, then how would you appreciate the people who you really do like? Dating is an experience – it’s not suppose to be perfect just live, learn, and enjoy this time in your life.