Dear Belle and Beau,
Texting is driving me crazy. I’ve been seeing this guy, he’s 45 and he never calls ALWAYS texts. He’s over 10 years older than me and I am just surprised that he is so reliant on texting. Isn’t his generation suppose to be the ones who know how to communicate via telephone? I’ve heard everything from how he’s about to jet off to LA to what type of vodka he’s drinking – all over text as if he was writing entries into a diary. I would expect it from someone in their 20s. In fact I have had a 2.0 (20 something) I’m friends with text me when he saw me out with my friends one night trying to pursue me – really?!?! When I am out with my friends – I am out with my friends. If you would like to date me then pick up the phone – does the text hookup work with women in their 20s?
I’m Cutting Off My Fingers, 32, Pharm Rep
Dear Cutting Off My Fingers,
Stop texting and PICK UP THE PHONE. It is AMAZING to me the single friends I have that are perplexed when a guy doesn’t ask them out yet they have engaged whole heartedly in the ‘text and meet up’ game. Texting has ruined dating. When I started dating my husband there was no text messaging – we talked on the phone incessantly and got to know each other. Text is as generic as it gets – if anyone cares about real human interaction they will take the time to pick up the phone. What 20 somethings have done is eliminate true human interaction for quick, fast, unromantic messages. I also have girlfriends who will claim, ‘Oh I haven’t’ called him’, yet they have texted ‘said boy’ 20 times in a row. Sorry girls that counts and once you have opened yourself up to the texting game all hope of going out to a white tablecloth dinner and being romanced is out the door. For men of all ages texting allows an unintimadating way to ask a woman out. Think about it, over the phone there’s the chance of rejection- over text a man risks no response or a woman saying she already has plans – a lot less painful than voice to voice rejection. Women DO NOT FALL FOR IT – if he is a man he will call. It is time for us to all get back to the time-honored mode of true communication – the phone.
Dear Cutting Off My Fingers,
It is true that it is an easy way for a man to test the waters to see if the woman is interested, but women too engage in the texting game. I have had women ask me out over text, break up with me over text, and try to get back together with me over text. What the? The bottom line is – it is completely immature. Why not just chill out and stop wanting instant gratification all the time. That’s what technology has done – it has enslaved us to always think we deserve an immediate response. Sometimes though, the person just wants to be called like a good ole fashioned girl or like a good ole fashioned boy he wants to call you. Here are the top 5 types of texter:
Hello Is There Anybody Out There – This texter initiates the first conversation via text. DO NOT RESPOND. If they want to talk to you make them call you.
The Diarist – This texter gives you detailed accounts of what they are doing: ‘heading to the gym for pilates’, ‘about to meet friends for happy hour at uber cool restaurant’, ‘sitting on the plane heading to Miami for the weekend to stay at FountaineBleu’. Again details are much better for voice to voice communication.
The Venter – This texter likes to have a few glasses of wine and vent it out over text, they are usually pretty good with words and have a knack for texts that will in fact get under your skin. The next morning they usually feel as if they went a little over board when the Cabernet took over.
The Sexter – Over the top flirty and likes sending pics and saying things to see if you respond. Can be fun if you really like someone, otherwise be prepared for your text messages to be shown to all her/his friends.
The Player – This guy/girl has a true problem with enjoying any one person’s company and gets bored often. So while he/she is on a date decides to start texting John Doe or Sally Jane too. They think they are super slick and even though he or she may be oh-so awesome – have some dignity. Try to, even if you’re on a date you cannot stand, be respectful enough to not text people of the opposite sex and enjoy yourself the best you can.